# Monday, 20 December 2010

Yorkshiremen jokes

Being a true born and bred Yorkshireman, I can testify to the veracity of the following true stories (ahem).

If you don't know the Yorkshire accent, you probably won't find these very funny. Mind you, even if you do know the accent you might not find them funny!

True story from Yorkshire #1

A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: "Eyup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi' me."

True story from Yorkshire #2

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of me dead dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bat!"

True story from Yorkshire #3

A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "Here lies Adele, she wor' a grand lass" engraved on it.

He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.

When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "Here lies Adele, she wor' a grand lass"

The Yorkshireman shouts "Yer a gormeless tatie, you've left the 'e' out!"

The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.

Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the 'e' on the stone for you..."

The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud - "Here lies Adel, eeh she wor' a grand lass"

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